What's Going Through My Mind
by Mockingjayswillburn
Summary: A bunch of sad, depressing, and/or romantic poems about what can be going on in my mind. Enter if you dare.


Sadness

* * *

><p>Sadness is like death<p>

It is looming in the future

You can't stop it

Sadness is like torture

It hurts you everywhere

It makes you scream for help

Sadness is like a virus

It leaves you weak and helpless

It attacks you from the inside

It can make you die

Yet, look at me, here I am

Still alive and breathing

You overcome sadness, grief, and despair

Just reach for my hand

Together we will conquer it all

* * *

><p>Hurt<p>

* * *

><p>Hurt, pain, anguish<p>

All can describe life

On the outside

It's fun, bubbly, and nice

Take a step inside the real version of life

Feel how it burns

Feel how it makes you cry

Feel how your heart beats slowly

Almost disappearing

You can feel life fading fast

It leaves you in pain

It leaves you alone in the dark

It leaves you hurt

* * *

><p>Promises<p>

* * *

><p>You stand there<p>

Thinking

_She promised_

You glare at her with realization

The world is not perfect

And she is most certainly not

She will lie to you

Backstab you

And try to destroy you

Just ignore it and

Shake away the pain

I could say

Things will always get better

Things could always be worse than what they are

I could tell you

Don't worry

We can make it out of this

We can survive

I could say all those things

But I would be lying

* * *

><p>Happiness<p>

* * *

><p>Happiness<p>

It is not pain

It is not betrayal

It is not realizing that all this time you've been lied to

It is not being kicked when you fall

It is not being pushed around when you are weak

It is not being left alone

In the dark

With no one to rescue you

Happiness

I wish I could tell you what it was

* * *

><p>Reputations<p>

* * *

><p>Reputations<p>

They will kill you

As soon as you trip

They will point and laugh

As soon as you fail

They will tease and taunt

As soon as you fall down

Curled in a ball

Weak and in despair

They will hurt you

They will laugh at you

They will smile at your unhappiness

They will try to kill you

And they will succeed

How do they kill you?

Not with shoves, beatings, or kicks

No, none of that,

They will kill you

With nothing but

Words

* * *

><p>Misery<p>

* * *

><p>Misery<p>

It is the lowest level

It is when you know that no one is there for you

It is when you feel dead

Misery

Where life seems pointless

You ask yourself

What am waiting for?

Who am I living for?

When will this be over?

How can I stop this all?

Where will it be, when it has gone too far?

Misery

It is when you ask yourself

Why do I bother?

* * *

><p>I cry<p>

* * *

><p>I cry because they lied<p>

I cry because they betrayed me

I cry because they tried to kill me

With their words of insult

I cry because I am hurt

They lied

They lied about things being perfect

They lied about being true to myself

They lied about keeping my secrets

They lied about our friendship

They lied about our trust

They lied about never letting me down

They lied about supporting me

They lied about understanding me

They lied about everything I thought was real

They lied

That is the truth

The one and only

Truth

* * *

><p>Them<p>

* * *

><p>I say I love them<p>

How can I?

Always being compared

Always being second best

Always not as good as

Them

She's a musical genius

She's beautiful

She's trendy

She's strong

Inside and out

She's clever

What am I?

To the world

I am the smart one

I am the smart one, but I am also

The untalented one

The ugly one

The style-less one

The weak one

The "take forever to get a comeback" one

No one can stop this

Them

They are better

Them

They aren't my enemies

No

They are the opposite

They are the ones I say I love

Yet, how can I?

* * *

><p>Everything<p>

* * *

><p>Everything<p>

I think I am everything

I think I am perfect

I think I can manage on my own

I think I can trust the ones closest to me

And trust myself

But I'm not

And I can't

I am not perfect

I am horrible

I can't go a day on my own

I am helpless

I try to trust

But I can't

Betrayal has taught me never to trust

Trusting myself

Ha!

That is a joke

To trust oneself is to trust one's own personal enemy

How can I trust someone who ruins everything?

The one who has turned everything perfect and good into horridness

The one who has cost lives

The one who has cost herself her own life

My Fault

I scream

I yell

I beg to be forgiven

But I have not

And will not

Ever

Be forgiven

I have ruined everything

With my hopeless lack of trust

My fake smiles

My rude, witty remarks

My whimpers of forgiveness

They are drowned out

Drowned out by my own tears

My own cries of sorrow

I promise it will never happen

That I will never be horrid

But I am

I don't try to be

I just am

I let the sobs of lost hope continue

Because that is how I know I will continue

Without love I have lost everything

I have

Died

Inside

And Soon

Oh, so very soon

I will stop being dead on the inside

I will be dead

On the outside

I will die

At the hands of the only one I could trust

My soul

* * *

><p>Your Eyes<p>

* * *

><p>You looked at me once, and my world changed<p>

All of a sudden

Everything was better

I had a will to live now

I had exciting news

Each and every day

I smiled more

And yet my life has changed so much more

I can't stop thinking about you

I hate it

But I love it

I love it because I almost ended it

My life

But I knew you would be there

_They_ would be too

But I could survive

So I will say this once and for all

Thank you for letting me find a purpose

* * *

><p>The choice<p>

* * *

><p>I am done shedding the tears<p>

I'm finished with yelling at myself

Repeating the same words

Over and over again

Ugly

Fat

Weird

Bitch

The words echo in my mind

But today, I choose to end those words

I choose to finally show them

I've had enough

I'm sick of the fakeness

I'm sick of the harsh truth

So I sit here

Blade against wrist

My mind flickers with too many thoughts

But I force them to end

I run my free hand along my scars

The scars that mark failure

But I've stopped

And so,

With blade in hand,

I press it close to my wrist, breaking the skin

The first drops are slow and separate

Then they flow faster

I feel the edges of the world growing darker, and darker

With one final slice, I realize that my choice is final

I smile as the world slows and stops, fading from my eyes

I smile

I've silenced the screams

**A/N: Just a glimspe inside my messed up mind. The truth that resounds so stronly inside. I made a playlist called truth these are the songs:  
><strong>

**Blind-Ke$ha**

**Bones Shatter-Hedley**

**Dancing with Tears in My Eyes-Ke$ha**

**F**ckin' Perfect-P!nk**

**Gettin' Over You-David Guetta and Chris Willis ft. LMFAO and Fergie**

**Paralyzer-Finger Eleven**

**Welcome to My Life-Simple Plan**

**Me Against the World-Simple Plan**

**Crazy, Beautiful Life-Ke$ha**

**Shut Up!-Simple Plan**

**I've felt every emotion inside those songs. So, maybe I'll update these poems. Maybe I won't. Maybe I won't bother to keep going. **

**Ever think of that?**


End file.
